Till Death or bad cooking Do Us Part
by Uzume-sama
Summary: Can Kenshin and Kaoru survive wedding bliss? rated for language and some sexual ennuendo
1. Default Chapter

**Till Death (or bad cooking) Do Us Part**

**Chapter I: The morning after**

Sunlight filtered through the rice paper window shades and shone down on the small futon with two lumps in the middle of it. Suddenly one of the lumps moved. Kaoru lifted her head from under the covers and blinked sleepily. "Morning already?" she mumbled sleepily and stretched her arms. Her arm hit something hard. She slowly turned her head around to see what it was. "Wha-?" Kenshin smiled sleepily at her. "Good morning!" He said. Kaoru's eyes widened. "K-Kenshin? KYAAAAAAA!" She grabbed her pillow and started hitting him with it. "Ken whack shin whack you whack HENTAI!!! whack".

"ORO, Kaoru, we're MARRIED!" Kaoru abruptedly stopped smashing her pillow into his face and froze. _'Oh Kami! I can't believe I forgot! It was our wedding yesterday!'_ She smiled sheepishly at him. "Oops?" Kenshin laughed. "You are so cute when you're guilty." She laughed. "Well, good morning to you too!" He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. Their faces got closer and closer. "WOOHOO!!! YEAH KENSHIN, YOU GOT IT MAN!!!" Sano yelled from their doorway. He had been passing by, on his way to the kitchen, and had happened to glance in and see Kenshin and Kaoru about to kiss. _'Might as well have a bit of fun with the newlyweds before I get something to eat.'_ Kenshin and Kaoru jumped apart and blushed furiously. "Saaaannnnoooo." Kenshin said, eyes turning slowly turning amber. Kaoru giggled and whispered in his ear. "Go get him." Kenshin smiled evilly and jumped out of the bed. "Shit!" Sano yelled and bolted down the hallway, Kenshin hot on his heels. Kaoru smiled and fell back onto the bed. _'Last night was a dream come true! Kenshin looked so handsome in his white gi......._ Kaoru alternately laughed and sighed as she reminisced the night before. As she was laying there who sauntered into the room but the infamous fox lady, Megumi. "Whatcha thinking about?" she said with a sly smile on her face. "Huh? Oh, hi Megumi. I was just thinking about last night. Wasn't the wedding beautiful?"

"Oh yeah I had a great time." Kaoru looked suspiciously at Megumi, whose sneaky smile was getting bigger and bigger. "So Kaoru, how was the wedding _night_?"

"Oh, it was perfect! Kenshin-MEGUMI!!!" Kaoru yelled, stopping herself just in time. "YOU'RE A BIGGER HENTAI THAN SANO!"

"Awwwww, c'mon Kaoru, just tell me one thing." she pleaded.

"What do you want to know?" Megumi leaned over and whispered something into Kaoru's ear. Kaoru's eyes widened and her face got redder than a tomato. Megumi chuckled. "I wouldn't be surprised if your face matched Kenshin hair right now."

"Megumi! I am NOT going to answer that question."

"Pleeease???"

"GET OUT!!!"

"Fine, you don't have to be so bitchy about it." Megumi left the room, grumbling about stupid girls who wouldn't answer just one little innocent question. She didn't even notice Kenshin standing in the doorway. He walked into the room. "Just out of curiosity, what _did_ Megumi want to know?" he asked Kaoru. "Huh? Oh, uh, nothing important." she replied hastily. "Awww, please Kaoru? Tell me?"

"NO." Kenshin gave her a puppy-dog look. "Kenshin! You meanie. You know I can't refuse the adorable puppy-dog eyes!"

"Please tell me Koishii?"

"FINE! Megumi wanted to know.........well......uh"

"Go on."

"Well.......she asked me........"

"Kauuuroooo"

"OK! Sheaskedmehowbigyouwere." Kaoru said all in one syllable, face turning a shade of red that rivaled Kenshin's hair. His jaw dropped. "Oroooooo! That Miss Megumi. One never knows what she'll say next." He sidled up closer to Kaoru. "So..............what did you tell her?"

"KENSHIN NO HENTAI!!!" whack whack whack

And so begins this couples journey into married life.................


	2. Chapter 2

**Till Death or bad cooking Do Us Part**

**Chapter 2: Breakfast lessons and a Dinner Party**

Kaoru sighed as she looked at the breakfast Kenshin had so carefully prepared for her. _'I don't think I'll ever even come close to cooking like he does.'_ Kenshin noticed her sad look and a shadow of doubt crossed his face. "Darling, is something wrong with the breakfast?"

"Of course not, it's wonderful Kenshin!"

"Then what's wrong?"

"Well...oh nothing. It's stupid."

"Kaoruuuuu." he said sternly. "OK! Its just, well, I feel bad because I could never cook such a wonderful meal as yours." Kenshin laughed. "Is that all? And hear I was thinking the riceballs were overdone!"

"Ha-ha...Uhhhhh...yeah," _'The day Kenshin lets the riceballs cook too long is the day he's dead!' _Kenshin looked thoughtful for a minute. "Kaoru?"

"Yes?"

""If you are really that concerned about your cooking, well, I could help you. Maybe I could give you a few lessons?"

"Kenshin, that's a great idea!" said Kaoru happily. Kenshin smiled. "We can start tomorrow morning. You can help me cook breakfast."

"Kenshin you are so sweet to me!" Kaoru leaned over to give him quick peck on the lips. But when their lips met, she realized she didn't want to stop kissing him. _'I could just do this forever.'_ she thought, unfortunately, too soon. Just as things were about to get interesting, who popped his big head through the door? Why, none other than Sano. "YO KENSHIN I-WHOA! Looks like I came just in time or there might have been a little more than breakfast going on on top of the table!"

"CAN'T I GET A LITTLE PRIVACY AROUND HERE!" yelled Kaoru in frustration.

"Nope," Sano said, unaffected by the yelling. "Now if you could stop going Battousai Kenshin and if you would be so kind as to put down that bokken Kaoru, I could tell you why I am here interrupting your "breakfast"." Out of pure curiosity the couple stopped attempting to kill Sano and sat down.

"Thank you. Now about what I came here for. Since your wedding was so small I thought we could have a little dinner party in honor of your marriage. Everybody who wasn't at the wedding will be there."

"I think that's a great idea Sano!" said Kaoru enthusiastically. Sano smiled and turned to Kenshin. "How 'bout you Kenshin? What do you think of my ingenious plan?" Kenshin's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What's the real reason you are doing this Sano?" Sano pretended to look deeply offended. "Why Kenshin! I can't believe you would suspect me of all people of having some sort of secret ulterior motives like just doing this to get free food!" Kenshin laughed. "Yeah that's what I thought."

"Well for whatever reason you're doing this Sano, I think it's a good idea." said Kaoru. "When is it and where are we going to have it?"

"Well...it's gonna be tonight and at your place."

"WHAAT!" Kenshin and Kaoru yelled simultaneously. "Sannoooo, when where you planning on telling us this?" Kaoru said through gritted teeth. "Well, you know, I am a very busy man-" "Yeah gambling all day is _really_ hard." Kaoru muttered under his breath. Sano sent her a death glare. Kaoru simply smacked him over the head with her bokken and said haughtily. "Well Sano, you are just going to have to cancel the party for tonight because we can never possibly be ready in time!"

"Sorry jo-chan no can do."

"WHY NOT!"

"Cause I already invited everyone."

"You WHAT," Kenshin yelled this time. "I can never prepare a dinner or get all the laundry done in time for a party TONIGHT!" While Kenshin fretted over what to cook, Sano leaned over and whispered in Kaoru's ear, "Are you _sure_ he's not gay?"

"Well, it does look that way sometimes, doesn't it?" Sano laughed and stood up. "Well, looks about time for me to be hitting the old dusty trail. See ya later-"Kaoru grabbed Sano by the shirt. "I don't think so, rooster-head. If we are having this party tonight then I'm gonna need all the help I can get, even from a lazy bum like you."

"Awwww, c'mon jo-chan, can't you get the little brat to help you?"

"Oh believe me, when Yahiko wakes up, there is going to be a nice big kitchen floor for him to scrub.

* * *

Meanwhile, you'll do." Kaoru headed off towards the kitchen, dragging Sano and Kenshin behind her.

Four hours later Kaoru, Kenshin and Sano collapsed on the small couch in the sitting room, exhausted. "I don't think I've ever worked so hard in my life, and all for a measly party!" Sano complained.

"Well, it's your fault you know. If you hadn't opened your big fat mouth, I wouldn't have had to work you so hard." Kaoru snapped back. Sano was about to respond when Yahiko came stumbling into the room, numb with exhaustion. Kaoru had him running errands from the moment he woke up. He too collapsed on the couch. Hey Yahiko." they all said in unison. "Did you get that fish I told you to?" Kaoru asked.

"Yep." he was too tired to add in the usual "ugly" insult. Kaoru turned to face Kenshin. "Kenshin, what time is it?" she was planning on maybe taking a little nap before the guests arrived and was wondering how much time she had. Everyone was due to arrive at 6 o' clock. "It's five-thirty."

"WHAT! THAT MEANS THEY'LL BE HERE IN LESS THAN AN HOUR!" Kaoru jumped up. "I've got to get out of these dirty clothes!" She dashed off to her room. Sano sighed and said lazily to Kenshin. "I guess

* * *

we'd better get ready..."

Half an hour later Sano was standing at the front door. He had been assigned to greet everyone and take their coats, hats etc. Already Megumi, Tae, Saitoh and Tokio had arrived, and there were more to come. They were all in the living room chatting idly, waiting for the dinner. Meanwhile, Kenshin was in the kitchen preparing while Kaoru was "helping" him. After what seemed like the tenth explosion, he kindly but firmly kicked her out of the kitchen. She joined the ever growing group in the living room. "Hey Kaoru!" Saitoh called, "Did Kenshin finally kick you out of the kitchen?"

"NO! I left because I WANTED to."

"Yeah, sure ya did" Just as Kaoru was about to respond, Megumi sidled up to her, a sly smile on her face. Kaoru recognized that smile and what it meant just as Megumi was opening her mouth. "For the last time Megumi, I am NOT going to answer that question!"

"Awwww, c'mon Pleeeeease?"

"NO"

"YES"  
"MEGUMI I-" Kaoru's response was cut short by a loud voice.

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE, NEVER FEAR MISAO IS HERE! NOW WE CAN REALLY GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Everyone turned to stare at the diminutive ninja girl. The room was totally silent.

"Uhhhhh...yeah..." Misao sidled in with an air of mock embarrassment. Kaoru immediately went over to her, glad for the excuse to get away from Megumi and her annoying question. "Hey Misao, glad you could come."

"Hey Kaoru, how's married life treating you?"

"Oh, it's great. Kenshin is just wonderful."

"Uhhuh," Misao nodded her head, only half listening. Her eyes were searching the room for a certain tall, dark, stony-faced person. Kaoru laughed when she recognized the look on her friend's face. "He's over in the corner." she whispered. "Misao smile as she saw him. She walked over to Aoshi. Kaoru smiled. _'I think I'll go see how Kenshin is making out with dinner. It should be almost time to eat...'_


End file.
